The last 365

“Last July, our 4-year-old daughter Eliza was diagnosed with a rare terminal genetic disease called Sanfilippo Syndrome-Type A. In one terrifying instant, we were told that we would have to watch her fade away before our eyes.

Eliza and other children with this disease are missing an essential enzyme for normal cellular function. Over time, a toxic material called heparan sulfate builds up in their brain and body leading to severe disability and death before they even reach their teens. This disease affects both genders, all races, all countries and continents. It is everywhere and the world needs to know.

Eliza Today and Her Future

Right now Eliza is a fun loving 4-year-old who loves to sing, run and MOST of all, cuddle. She loves to play dress up and horse around with her rowdy big brother Beckham. She is, however, beginning to show signs of the disease in her learning and attention. And if nothing changes, it will only get worse from here.

By age 6, most children with her disease have irreversible brain damage and lose the ability to speak. As the disease continues to tear through her brain and body, she will lose the ability to walk and eventually she won’t even be able to feed herself as seizures ravage her body.”

Heaven not Harvard

If you only read one entry of mine – read this one. If you only share one entry – share this one. If you never come back to Heaven Not Harvard, but we find a way to make a miracle, then God used me today and that is enough. If you are a blogger at all, please read to the end for a special challenge.

With all the kids heading back to school, it has really hit home that this is it. This is my last year of being home with my daughter all day, everyday. Next year she will be heading off to school. Our home and church won’t be her whole world anymore. She will have teachers, friends, and experiences of which I am not a part. Daddy and I will still be her most important people for a while, but those days are numbered as well…

View original post 1,115 more words


When We Threaten Children


When we threaten a child, it speaks of a relationship gone awry.  A relationship in which there is no mutual, respectful reciprocity.  And the only way that the adult can wield power over the child, is to threaten.

It also speaks about the absence of connection between the adult and the child.

A relationship should never be about threats, control, or power.  It should be about the connection that two people have with each other.

And so it should be the same between a parent, a teacher, or a significant adult, and a child.  But when an adult uses threats to control a child or exercise power over a child,  the adult, unintentionally though it may be, fractures the connection between himself or herself and the child.

While children are often very forgiving, when an adult uses threats too often, that connection may become, with time and with continual experience, increasingly difficult to reestablish.

Connect with children through love, empathy, compassion, kindness, and understanding, and our children will grow to become loving, empathetic, compassionate, kind, and understanding. Control children with threats and we disconnect from them because they become distrustful and fearful of us.

Just Let Our Children Bloom

We have got to stop making our children compete with each other over everything and just let them bloom.

Young children are still developing their self-concept, which means that they are in the very important process of building and establishing the foundation for their self-esteem, self-awareness, self-recognition, and self-definition.

We all know that children develop at different rates. When adults (at home and at school) continually put them in situations where they are either encouraged or made to challenge with their peers, children are not going to develop very healthy and positive self-concept if they do not “perform” as well as their peers. Also, for the child, the joy and fun in the process of the activity are removed, when children’s focus is made to shift to competing with another.

It Begins With Three Books


I grew up in a family without a father figure. My dad passed away when I was young. My mom worked at the office during the day. My oldest brother, only three years my senior, was essentially the dad in my life then. Of course, I had other dads too. They came in the forms of my uncles. My aunts were sometimes my mom, when I went to their homes to stay, during my school holidays or to wait after school.

So, I did not come from a one father, one mother, family upbringing. However, in my mind, for years, the picture in my head of a family, my definition of a family, was, a father, a mother, and two children, as prescribed and subscribed by our government, our schools, and our society then.

I remember being teased and yes, bullied, by friends for not having a father. Who could blame them? They did not know any better. Our government, our schools, and our society did not educate them any better.

And I always felt like I did not belong and out to place, in school or out of school. And I attributed everything that I was or was not, to the fact that I was a misfit. And one day, subconsciously, I assigned myself the label, that of a misfit and it became a determinant to many of the processes, events, and outcomes, that occurred in my life.

I think about the children today, who do come from “alternative” family types and which, do not “reflect society’s norm” of what a family should be. How much of an outcast they may think that they are and feel. The teasing and bullying they may receive as a result of peers who are not exposed to ideas of diverse family units. How damaging all these can be to a child’s developing self-concept; self-recognition, self-esteem, self-awareness, and self-definition. How the effects can impact in such detrimental ways in their adult lives. And because our government, our schools, and our society refuse to educate them any better, even today.

Now, the National Library Board, the one establishment that is supposed to furnish free resources with potential to extend knowledge, promote critical thinking, open minds, present different and alternative views and ideas, has decided that it would join our government, our schools, and our society, in limiting our children’s vast potential to learn about diversity, inclusivity, empathy, anti-bullying, and so much more, by deciding that it would censure any books in the children’s section which, do not reflect our society’s discriminatory and parochial definition of a family.

And hence, continues the trend of an exclusive and intolerant society and hurtful and hurt children.

You Are Not “Pro-Family” For Removing The Books. You Are “Pro-Stupidity” – Deborah Tan

Words cannot explain how disappointed I am with the National Library Board’s decision to remove the books “And Tango Makes Three”, “The White Swan Express: A Story About Adoption” and “Who’s In My Family: All About Our Families” from its shelves.

A library is a place where people go to read up on a wide variety of topics and genres. It is where you go to read books written from different perspectives so you can FORM YOUR OWN OPINIONS. A library has no business telling us what we should or should not be reading. It certainly should not be acting on the opinions of anyone – vocal minority or silent majority. Rather, it should act on whether a book has the ability to inform and educate.

Can animal-lovers ask for books on Hello Kitty to be removed because they feature a cat that is anatomically wrong and may lead people to believe that cats should have their mouths cut out? Can women ask for the removal of Archie comics because all self-respecting women should not stand for a guy who vacillates between 2 girls and sometimes dates both?

The point is, in the world of books and literature THERE IS NO RIGHT OR WRONG. A library provides the material and information so people can decide for themselves.

By having children’s books that promote an alternative view of Family isn’t wrong. Rather, you offer parents the opportunity to open their kids’ minds and broaden their views of the real world. Do you not think it is important for children to grow up understanding that such topics are not taboo and that they are not society’s outcasts for thinking they might want something different? It’s not just an education for the kids, but also an education for parents who need to learn how to embrace their children for who they will become.

Here’s what it means to be a family:

A family is a group of people who will unconditionally love and support each other through the good times and the bad. Whether a child is healthy, ill, or handicapped, the family will always see him/her as perfect. In a family, we accept everyone for who they are. Some families have a husband and a wife. Some, have a father, a mother, and a child. Some families are made up of two parents of the same gender. Some, are great with just a single parent bringing up a child. Some families are made up of friends – my Material World partners are my family too.

Material World

By removing three children’s books based on the feedback of a few people, the National Library Board has made enemies of many writers and members the LGBT community. The “pro-family” stance is now, unfortunately, looking like a “pro-stupidity” one. By Deborah Tan


I’m just going to come right out to say it: YOU have no right telling me how to live my life. YOU – the “concerned” public, the “pro-family” public, the public with the most narrow-minded view on what constitutes as “family” – have no business telling me what I should read or should not read.

I’m sick and tired of YOU defining the “family unit” as one that consists of a father, a mother, and a child. I’m sick and tired of you forcing your own narrow-minded definition of what makes a “family unit” down everyone’s throats.

I’m sick and tired of YOU using the “family” to decide…

View original post 723 more words

My letter to the Assistant Chief Executive and Chief Librarian of the National Library Board

Ms Tay Ai Ching
Assistant Chief Executive and Chief Librarian
Public Library Services Group
National Library Board

Dear Ms Tay,

I am writing in response to the news that two books have been taken off the catalogue and shelves of your libraries after receiving feedback that these books run in contrary to Singapore’s “pro-family” position.

I would like to emphasise that the two books which have been withdrawn from your shelves, are in no way contrary to Singapore’s “pro-family” position. As experience has informed me, “atypical” family units, for the lack of a better term, have been wrongly misunderstood and discriminated for far too long.

Having been an early childhood educator for the past 10 years, I have met and worked with children from different family backgrounds. While most of them come from the typical family unit consisting of biological parents who are in a heterosexual union, there are some…

View original post 353 more words

Appalling Anti-Gay Comments from Singaporeans (Comment section)–unprecedented–discrimination-112620712.html


The anti-gay comments coming from Singaporeans in the comment section are appalling.

To those who bring in Jesus to justify your stand against the LGBT community, please, do not shame His name.

Jesus in separating the sheep from the wolves spoke about deeds and not who a person is.

“For I was hungry, and you gave me food to eat. I was thirsty, and you gave me drink. I was a stranger, and you took me in. I was naked, and you clothed me. I was sick, and you visited me. I was in prison, and you came to me.’

Jesus ended this parable with,

‘Most certainly I tell you, inasmuch as you didn’t do it to one of the least of these, you didn’t do it to me.’ These will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.”

Matthew 25:31–46


The Love of God Becomes Real When Through Me It Touches Another.

For God, it is all about Love.


Let’s look to these people instead for what love is.